Paris Shop Signs: From the Ridiculous to the Sublimely Ridiculous, Part Two

The French don’t know what they’re missing: they don’t find this funny at all (“Nwah-zee” is a suburb of Paris). Sign spotted and photo taken by Perry Leopard

Since starting this column I have adopted the habit of taking a camera everywhere I go just in case I run across a shop sign or business name in Paris that happens to be inadvertently funny to a certain species of human: Intellogluteus anglicus, commonly known as the Anglophone wiseass. Since last May, when I posted my first selection of such finds, several more have come to my attention.

To begin in the world of the arts, consider this gallery on the Ile Saint Louis:

Maybe, but he sure got crappy grammar.

Now, where would you rather make an investment in a costly painting? Chez Monsieur Got or at this Left Bank gallery:

Happy hour 5:00 to 7:00 every day! Two Bosch paintings for the price of one!

Next, in the category of Lofty Aspirations, we have this hotel near Pigalle:

It was hard to get everything in one small photo: it’s called the “Hotel Lux,” but notice how stunningly luxurious it is.

Well, it’s good to have a goal in life. They’ve got the sign, so I guess the next step is to gut the entire building and renovate every inch of it top to bottom so that something, somewhere will actually look “de luxe.”

Or maybe the hotel is named for the scientific term “lux,” the unit of illumination denoting the luminous flux of one lumen hitting a one-square-meter surface at 90°. That must be it. It’s probably owned by the famous Physicotels Group, owner of the Ampere Grand, the Foot-Pound Royale and Erg on the Green.

Speaking of things de luxe and the illumination that comes from having a bright idea, this purveyor of fine feminine accessories first opened in the Montparnasse Métro station and was so successful it’s now opening a branch at Miromesnil:

Hey – I know what we should call the store! What was the name of that movie? You know, the one named after the pop song? With Julia Roberts? Does this look right?

From fine art to the art of refinement, and now to the finesse of fine dining:

This is a Thai place on Rue Richelieu. Since I’m from the Midwest, the name is especially redolent for me.

And this is not the only Paris restaurant that has chosen a name that evokes, ahh, not so much eating as one of the better-known consequences of eating:

A sushi restaurant on Rue Beaurepaire. Ask for the “special menu” and wink.

Here’s one I have already mentioned on Facebook — a pricey bar just off the Champs-Elysées:

I guess they’re thinking about the German word for “jewelry.” Or it’s the owner’s name. Poor schmuck.

Don’t laugh – the Schmuck Bar was such a success they opened a restaurant at Odéon:

For such a high-budget operation, it’s interesting that they didn’t hire a consultant to research their trademark. Or maybe they did, and he hated them.

You always want to stay on the good side of your consultants. And you always, always want to stay on the good side of the firm on the 5th étage of this building on Avenue de l’Opéra:

This might be taking the trend for “transparency” in the business world a bit too far.

In closing, if you do find yourself in a delicate situation with the above-mentioned disposal and haulage company, I suggest that you do not try to make amends by taking the boss out to this restaurant on Rue Léopold Bellan:

Seen a ridiculous sign in Paris? Send a photo to contact@paris-update.com

© 2011 Paris Update