David Jaggard
Re-raising the Bar on Ridiculous Rhetoric: Rationalize This!
What Kind of Dope Does He Take (Us For)?
Paris, February 2012: Scandal rocks the sports world in France! While semanticists are busy trying to figure out how an entire world can be contained within a single country, detectives are busy trying to figure out why Patrice Ciprelli, the … Read More
The Way Things Work in France: It All Comes Out in the Wash
Do Nice Countries Finish Last?
The time has come. The time to address an issue that has vexed and perplexed me ever since I moved to Paris nearly 30 years ago. Finally, I have promised myself that I would summon the courage to face the … Read More
Politics in France: Raising the Bar on Ridiculous Rhetoric
A Better Foothold on His Mouth than Reality...
I don’t follow politics as closely as I should, either in France or in the United States. The main reason for this is that I am a civically irresponsible sludgebag. A secondary and much nicer-sounding reason is that I am … Read More
What They Don’t Teach You in French Class, Part II: To Bise or not to Bise
How to Get (Really) Familiar with the French
France. Grown men kissing other men. What’s up with that? This, or words to that effect, was what I said to myself as a child back in the Midwest when I first became aware of the French practice of cheek … Read More
What They Don’t Teach You in French Class, Part I
How to Get Familiar with the French. Or Not.
French familiar formal When you study French in school, there are some things that the teachers and textbooks don’t tell you. For example, slang expressions, swear words and effective pickup lines are all beyond the scope of the syllabus. So … Read More
Beyond the Peripherique: Roasting and Roosting on the Riviera
Toto, I've a Feeling We're not in Paris Anymore
Because the climate here is so temperate, thanks to the Gulf Stream, we North Americans tend to forget just how far north Paris is. The entire landmass of the contiguous United States lies further south on the globe than Paris. … Read More
New Year’s Special: A Futuristic Retrospective of Parisian Life
Slipping the Grip of the Hands of Time
The end of an old year, the start of a new one… It’s a time for looking back. And a time for looking forward. So, purely in the interest of efficiency, I have decided to do both at once, by … Read More
The Traditions and Tribulations of Christmas in Paris
In Paris, nothing says “Christmas” like pointless products on sale in an ersatz Tyrolean chalet. Christmas in France is not much different from Christmas in the United States. Just like in the United States, people buy sawed-off evergreens to put … Read More
Way Beyond the Periphérique: Culture Shock and Awe in the United States
This “French bakery” in the Bay Area was apparently styled after the other Paris – the one in Las Vegas. I just returned from a trip to California. Although I am still a mono-national citizen of the United States, I … Read More
Paris Shop Signs: From the Ridiculous to the Sublimely Ridiculous, Part Two
The French don’t know what they’re missing: they don’t find this funny at all (“Nwah-zee” is a suburb of Paris). Sign spotted and photo taken by Perry Leopard Since starting this column I have adopted the habit of taking a … Read More